| …The stench of the hold while we were on the coast was
so intolerably loathsome, that it was dangerous to remain there
for any time, and some of us had been permitted to stay on the deck
for the fresh air; but now that the whole ship's cargo were
confined together, it became absolutely pestilential. The closeness
of the place, and the heat of the climate, added to the number in
the ship, which was so crowded that each had scarcely room to turn
himself, almost suffocated us. This produced copious perspirations,
so that the air soon became unfit for respiration, from a variety
of loathsome smells, and brought on a sickness among the slaves,
of which many died, thus falling victims to the improvident avarice,
as I may call it, of their purchasers. This wretched situation was
again aggravated by the galling of the chains, now become insupportable;
and the filth of the necessary tubs, into which the children often
fell, and were almost suffocated. The shrieks of the women, and
the groans of the dying, rendered the whole a scene of horror almost
inconceivable. Happily perhaps for myself I was soon reduced so
low here that it was thought necessary to keep me almost always
on deck; and from my extreme youth I was not put in fetters. In
this situation I expected every hour to share the fate of my companions,
some of whom were almost daily brought upon deck at the point of
death, which I began to hope would soon put an end to my miseries.
Often did I think many of the inhabitants of the deep much more
happy than myself, I envied them the freedom they enjoyed, and as
often wished I could change my condition for theirs. Every circumstance
I met with served only to render my state more painful, and heighten
my apprehensions, and my opinion of the cruelty of the whites. One
day they had taken a number of fishes; and when they had killed
and satisfied themselves with as many as they thought fit, to our
astonishment who were on the deck, rather than give any of them
to us to eat, as we expected, they tossed the remaining fish into
the sea again, although we begged and prayed for some as well as
we could, but in vain; and some of my countrymen, being pressed
by hunger, took an opportunity, when they thought no one saw them,
of trying to get a little privately; but they were discovered, and
the attempt procured them some very severe floggings. One day, when
we had a smooth sea and moderate wind, two of my wearied countrymen
who were chained together (I was near them at the time), preferring
death to such a life of misery, somehow made through the nettings
and jumped into the sea: immediately another quite dejected fellow,
who on account of his illness, was suffered to be out of irons,
also followed their example; and I believe many more would very
soon have done the same if they had not been prevented by the ship's
crew, who were instantly alarmed. Those of us that were the most
active were in a moment put down under the deck, and there was such
a noise and confusion amongst the people of the ship as I never
heard before, to stop her, and get the boat out to go after the
slaves. However two of the wretches were drowned, but they got the
other, and afterwards flogged him unmercifully, for thus attempting
to prefer death to slavery.
…We were not many days in the merchant's custody before
we were sold after their usual manner, which is this: - On a signal
given, (as the beat of a drum) the buyers rush at once into the
yard where the slaves are confined, and make a choice of that parcel
they like best. The noise and clamour with which this is attended,
and the eagerness visible in the countenances of the buyers, serve
not a little to increase the apprehension of the terrified Africans,
who may well be supposed to consider them as the ministers of that
destruction to which they think themselves devoted. In this manner,
without scruple, are relations and friends separated, most of them
never to see each other again. I remember in the vessel in which
I was brought over, in the men's apartment, there were several
brothers, who, in the sale, were sold in different lots; and it
was very moving on this occasion to see and hear their cries at
parting. O, ye nominal Christians! might not an African ask you,
learned you this from your God, who says unto you, Do unto all men
as you would men should do unto you? Is it not enough that we are
torn from our country and friends, to toil for your luxury and lust
of gain? Must every tender feeling be likewise sacrificed to your
avarice? Are the dearest friends and relations, now rendered more
dear by their separation from their kindred, still to be parted
from each other, and thus prevented from cheering the gloom of slavery
with the small comfort of being together and mingling their sufferings
and sorrows? Why are parents to lose their children, brothers their
sisters, or husbands their wives? Surely this is a new refinement
in cruelty, which, while it has no advantage to atone for it, thus
aggravates distress, and adds fresh horrors even to the wretchedness
of slavery. |