Pedestrian Crossing

"Let me introduce you to Mr. A. Now Mr. A is a perfectly straight forward kind of person. He reacts quite normally.

When there’s dried egg for breakfast.
When it’s opening time.
When he sees his bank balance.
When someone slips on a banana skin.
When he has bacon for breakfast.

But when it comes to the every-day business of crossing the road.
Hurt, old man? Never mind.

Now, let’s try and get this straight. You want to cross from here to there.
Good.

And it would be perfectly simple if it wasn’t for the cars - wouldn’t it.

Right. Now there are two ways of crossing the road. Your way - and I must say it isn’t terribly attractive - and this way. You see these two rows of studs.

All you have to do is to walk between the studs and you won’t get knocked down.

You see the motorist has a legal obligation to give the pedestrian a right of way at crossings. Now have a shot yourself.

Come on. it’ll be all right really.

Now

Look out

Now, now. There are some good common sense rules you know. You must look where you're going

And it's no good thinking you can have a sleep or eat your breakfast out there because you'll soon find yourself in trouble. You must keep on the move when you cross. Now have another try

That's it.
(Commentators' voice rises in excitement to a crescendo)

Good.
Fine
Keep it up.
Splendid
(A roar of applause greets his arrival at the other side)